Simple Rules for the Rebound
We all deal with disaster in different ways. It depends on how we were brought up and how much heartache we can take before we’re ready to cash in our chips. Whether you’re a guy or girl, and whether you were involved in a relationship for a week or for five years – splitting up and realizing that it’s over can be a damaging thing.
Some people will shrivel up in a corner and allow one failed relationship to destroy their lives, at least for the foreseeable future. Others, however, refuse to be deterred from happiness and immediately dust themselves off and jump back into the dating pool.
It’s a lot easier said than done, of course. Not everyone can automatically open themselves up to the idea of more potential rejection. But if you are amongst the men and women out there deciding to date on the rebound, there are a few things you should know before you dive in.
Rebounding Rules for Daters
Trust Your Instincts
You have to do what you feel is right in any situation. If it doesn’t feel right – if it feels too soon or like too big of a risk, then avoid the situation until you can find the right level of comfort. But if it feels like the right thing to do, even if it’s only weeks removed from the break-up, you should follow your gut in the direction it’s taking you.
Shoot for a Different Type
The odds are great that your “type” of guy or girl is the same “type” that things didn’t work out with. And if you go back even further, you might find that things have never ended well with this particular “type,” so what good is it? Date outside of what you believe your type to be. If you haven’t found happiness yet, then it’s obvious that your type is wrong. You’re probably working on attraction and not on reaction, and that’s the wrong approach.
Believe in the Word
Even if you feel you’ve completely lost your faith in men or women, never lose faith in love as a tangible destination you will one day arrive at. You can kick and scream and give up on dating until you’re really ready to rebound, but don’t believe that love is a myth or that love is unobtainable. Believing in love will help you rebound in the right way and not simply grab the first single you see.
Search the Social Circles
Many men and women ultimately realize that their true happiness was a little closer than they suspected. Millions of people coming out of failed relationships realize that their friends make better partners, or at least that their friends’ friends are ½ of a happy relationship. It’s a funny thing, but the more we mature and face heartache, the more we realize that having a friend as a lover—as opposed to a lover as a friend—is a great recipe for dating success.
Avoid the Fling
Many of us just want to feel good when we rebound. We’ll look for superficial romance, a one-night stand, or a quick little week-long fling. And we’ll ultimately sully any opportunity for happiness before we find it. Never go into any type of relationship with your mind made up on what it’s going to be. Never try to get involved in a fling. Stay open to the idea that this may be the start of a lifelong love affair.
Rebounding can be very tricky. What starts out as a way for you to forget the hurt and to experience joy can end up doubly disastrous if you’re not careful. Use these simple rebounding rules to stay on track.
