Archives for February 2011
Meeting someone online can be a great way to start a relationship, but transitioning from the Internet to a real-life date can be a tricky situation.
Thanks to the Internet people from all across the world can meet, regardless of culture barriers, class, religion or any other obstacle that may have presented itself only two short decades ago. Online dating is so incredibly popular, in fact, that one in five new relationships formed now start online.
That is a huge number when you consider the seven billion people on Earth and the millions of new relationships starting up every single day.
In terms of what to expect from online dating, how to approach dating websites in general and how to present yourself pleasantly enough to attract the flies to your honey, you can find countless tips and keen advice on the web. But what about for individuals who have just met their (maybe) special someone and want to take that next step and plan a real-life date – what about them?
We’ll cover the top ten pieces of dating advice for both men and women in this article, going over some of the more obvious tidbits of wisdom and perhaps some you never saw coming. Some may be unisex. Others may be specific. But they’re all helpful and relative to the genre.
Top 10 Dating Tips for Women
1: Do Your Detective Work
This is where you should really buckle down and find out if the guy’s safe to meet. Sure, at this point, you probably do feel comfortable enough to meet with him, but like the old adage suggests, you should measure twice and cut once. Run through the motions to be sure.
2: Be Picky about the Locale
You might not mind driving miles to his place or meeting him at a dark diner someone at 10pm, but the location should be neutral and welcoming. If anything, this takes the pressure off the idea of a “date” and allows conversation to be much more free-flowing without the awkward pauses and both parties wondering if they should push for more.
3: Develop Your Game-Plan
Maybe it seems a bit cheesy to have a list of things you want to talk about before meeting up with someone, but going from a dating website into the real world can be a shock for anyone, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve been on a “real” date. Going over some things to talk about, what to wear, things to eat, etc, is how you play it safe.
4: Don’t be so eager
The thing about online dating is that your first real-life date is technically about your 20th date sometimes, so it is quite common that the two of you will share really strong feelings, already know a lot about each other, and perhaps even have that four-letter word looming on your minds. But no matter how much you’re into him, you shouldn’t come across as too eager for anything “magical” to happen.
5: Have an Out Prepared
As we touched on previously with the whole “you might already like him” thing, you need to know that none of that may matter when you meet. Unfortunately, some people are not as advertised. A 25-year-old personal trainer online can turn into a 50-year-old, unemployed, beer-gut-sporting creeper in the real world. Having an “out” standing by, whether it’s a close friend to call or a few bucks for getaway cab fare, is a wise backup move.
6: Don’t “Act” at all
A lot of tips tell you to “act naturally” or to “act calmly,” etc. But this is a bad idea. Whenever you attempt to “act” anything, you aren’t who you are – if that makes any sense. The more “natural” you attempt to act, the calmer, cooler and more collected you’re attempting to be, the crazier you’re going to drive yourself. Realize that you already know this person enough that the jitters shouldn’t play a role. If they begin to, simply remind yourself of all the things you’ve talked about with your guy.
7: Be Ready to Listen
This is your first real date with the guy! You’re excited! You have a million things you want to say! Don’t. Seriously. You should arrive at the date ready to participate in conversation. You don’t need to steal the floor; you’re not the president. Cut out the long stories—you’ve had plenty of time to tell those and will have time later—and aim for back-and-forth convo.
8: Don’t Seek a Crutch
There are two main reasons here that you might end up a little wasted on the date. One, the nerves get the best of you. Two, you feel comfortable enough with the guy to let your hair down and to indulge a bit. A glass of wine is okay, but don’t go overboard with the boozing.
9: Appropriate Dressing is a Must
Like any first date, you want to make a good first impression. Just because you already know the guy doesn’t mean you should let your style lapse and it certainly doesn’t mean you should show up in stripper attire. Dress casually and do not worry about “impressing” anyone with your assets. You already know the man and you obviously already like one another.
10: Don’t Forget the Hygiene
A lot of women forget the makeup, forget to brush their teeth, and forget other hygiene essentials. This date isn’t like a “normal” first date per se, so your mind can be racing a mile a minute and you may let the simple things lapse. Take your time to make sure you’re put together.
Top 10 Dating Tips for Men
1: Let Her Choose
One thing women seek out more than a man is a feeling of safety. You may know that you’re a gentle guy, sensitive and nonthreatening. But she doesn’t necessarily know that. Allow her to choose the meet time and location so that she feels more comfortable. If that means you have to do the traveling, so be it.
2: Be a Full-On Gentleman
You definitely want to be a gentleman here. Show her that you’re a respectable person by pulling out her chair, complementing her, paying for the date, and all those other things proper gentlemen do.
3: Don’t Expect Much
Since the two of your already know one another from the dating website and are just taking your relationship to the next level, you may think that it’s time to level-up instantly without having to put in any more work. But don’t expect to get lucky, and certainly don’t push for it. You might freak her out.
4: It is Still Your “First”
As stated previously, the two of you already know one another, so this isn’t like strangers meeting, obviously. However, it is still your “first” date and technically your “first” impression is still at stake. Who you are online is now who you were online, and who you are in real life is how she’s going to see you. So always remember to pay attention here and make sure you’re making a great first impression.
5: Be Talkative
Your date wants to feel as if you’re interested. Guys historically have trouble speaking to women they already know, and odds are you’ve spoken to her a lot online before the meeting. You might not have much to say. It doesn’t mean you’re not thrilled to see her, but it will come across that way. Find a chatty bug somewhere and let it bite you.
6: Go Easy on the Guy Stuff
Some guys have trouble getting into the flow of conversation, whether it’s the first date or the hundred and first, so they resort to raunchy humor, sports talk, putting on the “tough guy” routine, and other caveman-like forms of communiqué. Cut out the guy stuff and take it down a notch.
7: Turn Your Phone Off
One of the biggest fears—legitimate at that—women have about meeting men on the Internet is that they’re going to be “players” – guys attempting to date multiple women. Having your phone ring, whether it’s your friend Bozo or your dear old mother, may send the impression that your other lady friends are calling. Eliminate the suspicious minds by simply cutting your phone off.
8: Focus on Your Body Language
Your body language is going to say it all on a date. If you’re overly interested in that one thing, it’s going to show. If you’re bored, she’s going to know it. Pay attention to what your gestures and movements are saying about you. You may only be thinking it, but your body’s going to show it.
9: Easy on the Cologne
This is a little more trivial than an outright must like some tips, but guys often have a habit of slathering on the cologne before a date. The market out there today is shoving body scents and deodorants and scented hair gels down guys’ throats. Well, it’s having more of an effect on women’s throats, as it burns through their nostrils into their esophagus. Just take it lightly with the stuff.
10: Move in for the Kill
Now, this doesn’t mean to attempt to get her in the bedroom. But since you do already know one another, that goodnight handshake or cheek peck or soft hug can be replaced by a real-deal kiss here. Go ahead. Don’t be shy. Move in and plant one on her lips when the date is over with. You only live once.
The list of first date tips can go on and on for hundreds of articles. There are many ways to have a successful first date and many things you can do to improve your chances. In terms of rankings, however, these ten, for men and women respectively, are the best.
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